Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
