FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Fuck appropriateness.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
