The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize