You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
