i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
