Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
