wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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