As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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