69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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