He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
