Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
