so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
cat food counts as protein by the way
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
