The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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