belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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