do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
