ya dads aren't the best wingmen
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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