I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
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i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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