I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize