This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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