wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
