The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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