you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible