You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?