last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
