If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
