about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All the doctor said was why
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
