another moral hangover. fuck.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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