PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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