So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
