then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
