the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I supernannyed him into submission
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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