you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
