Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
