he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
