True but thats because hes a fetus.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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