Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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