i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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