Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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