We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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