This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
