my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
