So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
