That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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