I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
