your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
