Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
God I need to hump something, right now.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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