Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize