Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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