I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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