I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
