don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize