I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
