any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
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