is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
