Sry I called you an 8
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
