Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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