its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
