U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
