we have officially lost it.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
