Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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