Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Every concussion has its silver lining
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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