dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
